This is note that was writen by a dear sister of mine, who is masha ALLAH a talented writer and thinker, may ALLAH bless her!
I posted it here to remind my self and to others on her experience and her thought provoking points, and nsha ALLAH i will post my reply to it soon insha ALLAH.
(hope you will like it, plz share your comments)
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Posted in Mind, Note Requests at 3:53 pm by AH
This note is dedicated to Noor Il Fehm
Noor Il Fehm is the nickname of one of my university friends. Whenever I think of this girl, I think of a girl who used to “pass by my life” at just the right moments. In the TV room when I was saturated with what I was studying, in the corridor when I needed help, and in her room when I needed human company. She was my neighbour, and I’ve always been grateful for this neighbour, because we used to share deep intellectual, social, religious conversations, and the best part of our relationship is how different our majors were. She was in SA&D and I was in CEN. Despite that, we never ran out of things to talk about.
After graduation Noor Il Fehm went to teach children in school, simply because she didn’t believe in using her degree for commercialization purposes, like advertising and running Marketing campaigns, considering how unclean this industry has become nowadays. And since she was a design student, she thought that maybe her role in society was to be a different role model, and teach children creativity from a young age. Yet at some time she began to get frustrated because the children shocked her, and you could read all about it in her blog.
And what’s funny is that I’ve gone through a similar experience before. Once upon a time, I found myself a bunch of female victims to teach Mathematics in a High School in Kenya just because I had nothing better to do with my life = I was on vacation. The experience was not so bad as I felt like I learnt more from the girls than I taught them. And if someone had asked me just before graduation what I wanted to do, I would have settled for that….
But then again, that was the AUS stress talking.
However, now, 1.5 years post graduation my point of view rotated 180 degrees, and my message to Noor Il Fehm is as follows:
Our problem is that we meld into society too soon, and we get into that heated mood of “wanting to make a difference in the world,” and “wanting to go out to the real world and change it”. However, what we really need is time to change ourselves, develop ourselves and grow ourselves. What we really need is to shift our focus inward instead of outward. Instead of criticizing society and the apparent moral corruption taking place, the question is, “What are we doing with our lives? What is our next goal? Not our next “social” goal, but our next “personal” goal? How are we growing? How are we developing? How are we challenging ourselves?”
We need to set the standard bar higher for ourselves. We need to force ourselves out of the comfort zone, define our next challenge, raise our standards higher. Otherwise we won’t be satisfied, and we’ll always feel like we didn’t give things our all, like we wasted our efforts, simply because we didn’t concentrate, simply because we didn’t define our next goal. And this dissatisfaction will lead to frustration, simply because it’s like we aimed too low, and by aiming too low, we’d naturally settle too low. There’s a saying by Clement Stone that says, “Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.”
And that might explain your current frustration, Noor il Fehm. You settled too low. You went back to society too soon. You need some incubation period – a time out – to grow yourself, to gain more knowledge in your field, and return to society in a different form, not as a teacher, but something better.
And the more knowledge you gain, whether in religion, or in your field, the more you’ll realize how little you know. Because no matter how much you’ve achieved, the real great minds always strive for more. They don’t waste their time patting themselves on the back for what they’ve learned, for what they’ve achieved, but keep the process going and going and going like the bunnies that run on Duracell’s batteries.
Because at this stage, you think that the best way to change those girls was by gaining authority and enforce discipline, but a better way to change people is to inspire them through the story of your life.
Remember this quote for Imam Ahmad;
قيل للإمام أحمد: متى الراحة؟
قال: مع أول قدم في الجنة
Or the Arabic poem for Al Mutanaby:
على قدر أهل العزم تأتي العزائم ... و تأتي على قدر الكرام المكارم
و تعظم في عين الصغير صغارها ... و تصغر في عين العظيم العظائم
(the link to her blog)
http://ahechoes.wordpress.com/2009/12/27/raise-your-standard-bar/
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
movies for kids! and we are serprised why they are like this??
I just finished watching parts of a Disney movie...for children!!! Other than the part that I hate myself for doing so, but I’m even more frustrated at the movie...and at us!!!I couldn’t believe it! The things that our kids are watching, the things that they are learning...all packaged up in one pretty gift box with an even prettier ribbon?! I was wondering why kids this generation are becoming so "un-kiddish" like (innocent and pure)...and it's because we let them watch such un-innocent, un-pure things...that stuff them with "TRASH"....trash that by time will grow and rot and stink up the whole place! What did I see in these movies?...i don’t want to go into details, they are not highlighted loudly in the movies, but its more of the small hint here and the small glimpse there...small but are powerful....and what is more scary is that you don’t realize it...because it's so small! They play with the subconscious, in the background, affecting you, "rotting" our innocence and purity! It’s just shocking. What is the mind behind all this thinking? Can someone truly be this "Evil"??And we fall into it so easily?!The funny thing about it is that true it’s all wrapped by a pretty ribbon, but honestly...it’s a cheap ribbon!It’s not great acting, nor a great story, not even a great plot...Believe me, "we" as in Muslims, can do way better than that! The only great thing that it has is promotion, and the things they use that the "nafs" loves...that how they attract our pure, innocents sweeties (children).Then...why don’t we do it? Why don’t we give them the better? Cover and SAVE them...from rotten and totally stinking from inside,Isn't it our Amana or responsibility??As our beloved Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him said, "...كلكم راع وكلكم مسؤال عن رعيته"
What can we do? any ideas?
What can we do? any ideas?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
a school trip with the "me me me"
"‘7LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!" I yelled. I don’t think I ever yelled this loud or can ever do!I couldn’t handle it any more. I was surrounded from all over! Screams, yells, a tag here and pull there! And a lonely heart and the eyes of a girl who said, “Help me! Why did you leave me?” !? I couldn’t handle it! I yelled, and for one second everything stopped and all eyes were on me! Puzzled? Shocked? Scared???I turned around quickly, and told the other teacher, "I'm getting dizzy I need to go now". She said, " Ya go sit eat something, but I just kept on walking straight quickly without waiting or looking at any one!" Then I started tearing up, but I kept on walking straight…What did I do? What did they do? What can I do? Oh….then the adhan went! Sub7ana ALLAH.I was just too upset to even enjoy that moment! Are those little innocent girls evil? Or are we the evil or made them evil? I can't deny it anymore. They are not as I expected…not as colorful...not as joyful...not as pure as I always imagined it will be! All I see, is the nafs...the nafs of a grown person, full of greed, hate, jealousy, and well basically, the “me me me” attitude …Regardless of who you are, what you do, there's no respect for you because it's all about "me me me"!?? How did this happen? Why did this happen? And how can this be UN-happened??
And suddenly it became clear to me where the other teachers hopelessness and helplessness came from. Why they kept on saying, "Oh no point of this Habibti stuff with the girls. It's all about respect and order." I went into the school hopeful that I could teach the girls about love and creativity, hopeful that I could be a different type of teacher, and I hung onto that hope for the longest time because I used to think the children were so innocent, that it was not their fault they were the way they were. Yet here I am now frustrated by how giving them love made them grow into bigger monsters, and enforcing order and respect blotted out the love and creativity that both the student and the teacher should have.
In this obvious dillemma, what can we do?"
And suddenly it became clear to me where the other teachers hopelessness and helplessness came from. Why they kept on saying, "Oh no point of this Habibti stuff with the girls. It's all about respect and order." I went into the school hopeful that I could teach the girls about love and creativity, hopeful that I could be a different type of teacher, and I hung onto that hope for the longest time because I used to think the children were so innocent, that it was not their fault they were the way they were. Yet here I am now frustrated by how giving them love made them grow into bigger monsters, and enforcing order and respect blotted out the love and creativity that both the student and the teacher should have.
In this obvious dillemma, what can we do?"
Sunday, December 13, 2009
teaching...
its so hard not to get caught up with all the negtive thoughts negtive attudies and belives?
I came to school, as a teacher's assistent expecting a world of love, passion and innocents, i knew that i wont find it with the teachers or even the books, but atleast i expected to find it with in the girls. the cute little girls, see the love to learn, the love to live, be colorful to be "wild". But to my serprise i didnt! I rarely feel this love and innocents, and by time it started to get to me.
Since i had a small spark of light, it soon died when it did not get enough O2 and other sparks.
My spark wasnt able to live on its own, it is still small and weak to be able to light up the whole room (the world!). My spark needs to grow needs to glow, it needs to find O2 and other sparks to make it bigger. My spark isnt ready to face the world as it is, becuase it is dying slowly, and I am afraid that by time it will loss all its power all its light and then the room will become dark, dark as everyones dark worlds, and i dont want to make my world dark and make all that is around me dark again.
I need to focus on my self, my own "spark" and teach it to grow, to portect it self from the wind and all the dark thoughts that wants to cover it. I am not ready now to light up the rooms
I came to school, as a teacher's assistent expecting a world of love, passion and innocents, i knew that i wont find it with the teachers or even the books, but atleast i expected to find it with in the girls. the cute little girls, see the love to learn, the love to live, be colorful to be "wild". But to my serprise i didnt! I rarely feel this love and innocents, and by time it started to get to me.
Since i had a small spark of light, it soon died when it did not get enough O2 and other sparks.
My spark wasnt able to live on its own, it is still small and weak to be able to light up the whole room (the world!). My spark needs to grow needs to glow, it needs to find O2 and other sparks to make it bigger. My spark isnt ready to face the world as it is, becuase it is dying slowly, and I am afraid that by time it will loss all its power all its light and then the room will become dark, dark as everyones dark worlds, and i dont want to make my world dark and make all that is around me dark again.
I need to focus on my self, my own "spark" and teach it to grow, to portect it self from the wind and all the dark thoughts that wants to cover it. I am not ready now to light up the rooms
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
process, a basketball court, current, a box...
Always I’m trying to find a new analogy about life…
for many resons..one its simply “Fun”…makes my mind work and because im trying to understand it!!
Life is a process…as a designer I am fascinated by “process” interesting things come up things that you can never plan or predict, even if things don’t reveal just the process, the activity of doing what your doing here..is in it self-fascinating…a great sensations…you are in a world beyond this world…beyond this “box” these walls that we are put in by our misunderstandings of why we are here in the first place…
Life is a basket ball court, (taken from a lecture about educt of a interesting speaker Dr.Jackson) and Im Michael Jordan {life} throws to me the ball and I have no idea what im going to do with it at that moment…but all I have with me is my skill and incstince…with these things I take the next move…the move that should take me to my goal…to that basket on the other side, to score!
such analogies really help me understand life more…and make me more prepared to whets coming… …because I am put in this world (this basketball court) for reason.
sometimes my analogy goes over board, I try too hard to “figure it out”…I don’t know if life needs to be figured up or should be.
but I can’t help it but Think?! It keeps me moving….even though thinking sometimes slows me…with over analyzing and over dismantling…just slows me slows me from this “running” world…this world is moving and is not waiting for anyone…it is going only in one direction…one circle…that goes on and on….and I cant go against it…its too exhausting…and whats easier then just go with it…even though its not my direction??? With thinking and analyzing…I see how this one direction this current that this world is forcing me to take is not the only way…there are others…and this current will stop me from seeing the true purpose and true abilities of me in this world…and my role in it!
but oh how is it hard to go against it, when everyone is going with it…if you try to go back and look for another way, someone tells you “stop being silly” and pushes you back again with the current…why and how is it that we all know that this in not the only way…and that there are better, but still fallen into it…we know that this current is what is causing us disappear yet we are going with it.
why? I ask my self that a lot…but then I too fall into it…I come to a point…maybe I am being silly maybe there is no point of going back…just go with current everyone else is….I go and im just blank…not happy…not even upset…because I don’t know what I’m doing…but I’m just walking around blank…go where the current takes me…isn’t this our life? Why is it so? We are free we believe? But how free are we if we cant go against a current??
for many resons..one its simply “Fun”…makes my mind work and because im trying to understand it!!
Life is a process…as a designer I am fascinated by “process” interesting things come up things that you can never plan or predict, even if things don’t reveal just the process, the activity of doing what your doing here..is in it self-fascinating…a great sensations…you are in a world beyond this world…beyond this “box” these walls that we are put in by our misunderstandings of why we are here in the first place…
Life is a basket ball court, (taken from a lecture about educt of a interesting speaker Dr.Jackson) and Im Michael Jordan {life} throws to me the ball and I have no idea what im going to do with it at that moment…but all I have with me is my skill and incstince…with these things I take the next move…the move that should take me to my goal…to that basket on the other side, to score!
such analogies really help me understand life more…and make me more prepared to whets coming… …because I am put in this world (this basketball court) for reason.
sometimes my analogy goes over board, I try too hard to “figure it out”…I don’t know if life needs to be figured up or should be.
but I can’t help it but Think?! It keeps me moving….even though thinking sometimes slows me…with over analyzing and over dismantling…just slows me slows me from this “running” world…this world is moving and is not waiting for anyone…it is going only in one direction…one circle…that goes on and on….and I cant go against it…its too exhausting…and whats easier then just go with it…even though its not my direction??? With thinking and analyzing…I see how this one direction this current that this world is forcing me to take is not the only way…there are others…and this current will stop me from seeing the true purpose and true abilities of me in this world…and my role in it!
but oh how is it hard to go against it, when everyone is going with it…if you try to go back and look for another way, someone tells you “stop being silly” and pushes you back again with the current…why and how is it that we all know that this in not the only way…and that there are better, but still fallen into it…we know that this current is what is causing us disappear yet we are going with it.
why? I ask my self that a lot…but then I too fall into it…I come to a point…maybe I am being silly maybe there is no point of going back…just go with current everyone else is….I go and im just blank…not happy…not even upset…because I don’t know what I’m doing…but I’m just walking around blank…go where the current takes me…isn’t this our life? Why is it so? We are free we believe? But how free are we if we cant go against a current??
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Structre and process of life?!
It’s funny how we can change so quickly depending on the environment and the people around us.
It’s funny how situations, we are put in, help us discover something, some power that we didn’t know we had before!
It’s funny how 'talk' is easy yet doing is not!!
Should we then stop talking and just into life and work!! (What ever you work on just...WORK)
Since we don’t know how will we react or what special hidden powers we have, then we should just work!
No point on thinking about it, no point on saying what "I'm going to do...."
No point on talking about the next step if we didn’t take it already??!
Won’t that save us from un-met promises…save us from being ‘double faced’?
So, instead of “I WILL…” but rather, “I DID…”
Then, should we just take life on how it is given to us…
”Work with what you have” focus on the first staircase taken rather than on where this staircase will take me? Or where I want it to take me?
Should planning and predicting effect our journey?
Because with planning and predicting…We will ‘limit’ the journey…
We will miss or ignore things along the way that are not part of the plan, We will break some promises..since our plan started out with a certain energy that we were not able to keep till the end, We will miss bigger/higher out comes..since we are not aware of our own energies and strengths.
So, that’s too much of a structure..it will get us somewhere but very limited ‘somewhere’…very dry and un-rich(with many other discoveries about our selves and about what is around us)
Does that mean we should loss the structure? “take things as they come”…a journey a process...of taking a very step and foucing on what is infront of us…and working with it…
we will get to notice things about our selves that we were not aware of, we will discover things about the world that we never knew never experienced….
but where will that take us? I mean life is “full” one thing takes you to the other and that thing takes you to another…and so on and so on…we will get to discover many things…but for what? Where are we going??
With all this freedom…we will be lost!
As my design professors we telling us…you need a little structure (projects guide line) to get you starting without it…your lost! You’re going nowhere. Because there is too many ways and directions and all have their own possibilities and new discoveries!
So too much structure (of planning and predicting) and no structure what so ever..freedom…both in their own ways are “limiting”
we ask for our freedom but a structure is what will free us!!
Having a all ready structure in the begging will restrict our possibilities to get to the highest levels.
We need to go with the journey...be part of it and make it build our own structure…a structure that is supported with pillars…Pillars=> our faith, our believes, our Identity….
It’s funny how situations, we are put in, help us discover something, some power that we didn’t know we had before!
It’s funny how 'talk' is easy yet doing is not!!
Should we then stop talking and just
Since we don’t know how will we react or what special hidden powers we have, then we should just work!
No point on thinking about it, no point on saying what "I'm going to do...."
No point on talking about the next step if we didn’t take it already??!
Won’t that save us from un-met promises…save us from being ‘double faced’?
So, instead of “I WILL…” but rather, “I DID…”
Then, should we just take life on how it is given to us…
”Work with what you have” focus on the first staircase taken rather than on where this staircase will take me? Or where I want it to take me?
Should planning and predicting effect our journey?
Because with planning and predicting…We will ‘limit’ the journey…
We will miss or ignore things along the way that are not part of the plan, We will break some promises..since our plan started out with a certain energy that we were not able to keep till the end, We will miss bigger/higher out comes..since we are not aware of our own energies and strengths.
So, that’s too much of a structure..it will get us somewhere but very limited ‘somewhere’…very dry and un-rich(with many other discoveries about our selves and about what is around us)
Does that mean we should loss the structure? “take things as they come”…a journey a process...of taking a very step and foucing on what is infront of us…and working with it…
we will get to notice things about our selves that we were not aware of, we will discover things about the world that we never knew never experienced….
but where will that take us? I mean life is “full” one thing takes you to the other and that thing takes you to another…and so on and so on…we will get to discover many things…but for what? Where are we going??
With all this freedom…we will be lost!
As my design professors we telling us…you need a little structure (projects guide line) to get you starting without it…your lost! You’re going nowhere. Because there is too many ways and directions and all have their own possibilities and new discoveries!
So too much structure (of planning and predicting) and no structure what so ever..freedom…both in their own ways are “limiting”
we ask for our freedom but a structure is what will free us!!
Having a all ready structure in the begging will restrict our possibilities to get to the highest levels.
We need to go with the journey...be part of it and make it build our own structure…a structure that is supported with pillars…Pillars=> our faith, our believes, our Identity….
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