Sunday, December 13, 2009


its so hard not to get caught up with all the negtive thoughts negtive attudies and belives?
I came to school, as a teacher's assistent expecting a world of love, passion and innocents, i knew that i wont find it with the teachers or even the books, but atleast i expected to find it with in the girls. the cute little girls, see the love to learn, the love to live, be colorful to be "wild". But to my serprise i didnt! I rarely feel this love and innocents, and by time it started to get to me.
Since i had a small spark of light, it soon died when it did not get enough O2 and other sparks.
My spark wasnt able to live on its own, it is still small and weak to be able to light up the whole room (the world!). My spark needs to grow needs to glow, it needs to find O2 and other sparks to make it bigger. My spark isnt ready to face the world as it is, becuase it is dying slowly, and I am afraid that by time it will loss all its power all its light and then the room will become dark, dark as everyones dark worlds, and i dont want to make my world dark and make all that is around me dark again.

I need to focus on my self, my own "spark" and teach it to grow, to portect it self from the wind and all the dark thoughts that wants to cover it. I am not ready now to light up the rooms

1 comment:

AH said...

I guess that's what we figure out after going into the "real world"...we want to cause difference, but we realize we need to start with ourselves so even if we don't change the world, maybe someone might be inspired by us and carry the sho3la over to the world...